Yesterday I was reading someones blog and it struck me that what he had gone through i was on the receiving end one time, if a gesture that blows one away and makes you believe people do care and that there are good ones out there.
When i lived in San Francisco i had a problem...she the stealer of the light that inhabits you, the taker of what is good and pure and turns you into someone unrecognizable, takes your soul.
Imagine if you will a skeleton hand squeezing your soul till there is nothing good left, nothing but darkness and despair.
She is Tina, the bitch, the whore whatever you want to call her she is the one that can take it, So Hi I am Tony and i am an addict although 7 years clean.
One day that sticks in my heart was the day I was on Manhunt looking and there was this guy who i would send messages back and forth, So one day i decided to meet him, But earlier that day i was digging in a box and i found 3 coins that a friend gave me that were.
the first was the Buddha, second was guardian angel, the last one was St. Christopher..who as a child was my favorite..go figure a good catholic boy.
So back to the angel coin i put in my pocket, i went to meet him at whole foods, No money his treat or so he says, so i go there and i see this guy who is adorable ...so different then his pic, so we get a cup of coffee he pays, the smells of the food are driving me crazy!!
earlier that day i am wondering HOW AM I GOING TO PAY RENT???...that weighs heavy on my heart and mind so he sees i am stressed and asked why, I tell him and he shakes his head and i think oh great..he will get up and leave, he didnt he says that he also has used before and he says he can see the goodness that is in me and that there is a battle going on between good and evil, I feel it hit home, he says lets get up and walk, so we walk around the block and he tells me he is HIV positive and expects me to take off, I dont ..so we have a great conversation, he grabs my hand i smile i feel warmth and joy rush over me.
He is like I think you deserve something, i shake my head and ask what? i am thinking a kiss? another cup of coffee? he reaches around and grabs his wallet i dont see what he pulls out, but he hands me five hundred dollars cash!! I think i have rent money and money to get food and Goodies!!!, but the tires screech to a halt I ask why ?
" he says you deserve it, and you will do a favor for someone in your life sometime, and that will be payback"
I take the money and he asks if he wants to go back to his place he will make dinner and we can hang out ...I am like why is he being nice to me, I dont deserve it..to be continued
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